Monday, June 27, 2011

137. blogs blogs blogs

I love to read my friend G's blog, it is always interesting, often inspiring, and at times funny==nothing funnier than real life my dad always says, so true.

Crazy week for me well 10 days so far since the hubs has been training. I have been tempted and failed many times, still looking for a win. My first ministry is to God, then my family. Finally caught up with my Bible plan and enjoying the time in the morning for that, but lacking in the prayer department still. My kiddos challenge me daily in the patience ring (which I have never claimed to have an ounce of) and that is my biggest failure. I get angry, irritated, snap, yell....instead of using the opportunity to find a gift or praise God for my kids, I focus on me and my own struggles to do a simple task without interuption or chaos. so many opportunities to show grace and love and patience (don't like that p word) and each time I fail. The good news is that I can fail a thousand times and God's mercy will remain and only He can change my reaction and fix me so long as I seek and ask Him to do so...

I have had 2 self destructive nights since my hubs has been gone, one night I ate a crunch bar (not a mini one either), and shared 2 bags of popcorn and 2 sodas with T--its been a long time since i have had soda and apparently 1 just didn't do it). Then last night after a very stressful day with my kids I got them to bed and sat down with a glass of wine and decided that it just sounded too good to resist and ate a bunch of cheese and crackers with it and some summer sausage--

wow what a downer I am, whats wrong with me? why am i focusing on the negative so much? oh there is the answer: I am focusing on myself too much....onto the new

Currently K is napping, I had a quick cat nap, and T is in his room quietly playing (while he is suppossed to be napping-I dont mind though as long as he is giving me a little quiet time). I just finished my coffee and read my friends blog-made me really want a great dane by the way, it will be awesomewhen we can get one ourselves! Peace in my house, comfort in my soul, warm coffee in my belly and a sweet text from my hubby while he is out in the crazy heat doing his crazy job missing his family and worrying about my sanity, I am so blessed to have him.

138. text messages
139. girls nights-very excitecd for my little date with M tonight while friends watch my kiddos

Little gifts are everywhere. My son just got up and said "good morning sunshine" and gave me a big hug and said he loved me, what else is there, but love and happiness! and health, wow I am so blessed to claim all of these. I may not always be happy, but there is no reason not to be, as happiness in my opinion is a state of mind I have to choose to be happy and right now right here I am choosing happiness!

140. double newspapers for only .89 cents more
141. friends who see you struggle and reach out
142. play dates
143. parents who are so kind and generous
144. vacation
145. aniticipating daddy coming home
146. 4 year old singing "shine your light in let the whole world see, singing for the glory of the risen king" I love when he sings, it could be one of my most favorite sounds.
147. both my kids dancing to christian music and smiles on their face as their mommy gets down too :)
148. Romans in the Bible, I am enjoying it greatly!
149. Pastor stories that get you to laugh and other ones that pierce your heart
150. song we sang in church (some lyrics to follow) not sure of the name, but so fitting right now.

"So here's my broken heart Lord do what you please, I'm laying down my life, my hopes, my dreams. Cause you laid down your life in love for me so I surrender all to you my king"
151. shouting out a song with other believers as a cry from your heart, hands high, heart abandoned, open and seeking our glorious Lord Jesus!

Time to get ready for my girl date and say a little prayer of thanks for God changing my perspective through writing this blog!

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