Monday, October 1, 2012

thoughts for the day.....

386. reading friends blog whom i miss so much! and of course being encouraged! thanks so much my dear G!
387. Being in a missional community group, knowing that if I am really stuck in a hard place all I have to do is ask and I have some great people who will be there for me! the key part for me is asking, its hard for me to ask for help, though I love to help others!
388. me-not sure if I have said this one yet as this blog has been dragging on for quite a while, but I am thankful for the gift of me, God made me who I am and it's not always easy to be this crazy, bold, say what she thinks person, but I am thankful for my gifts and for God's constant presence in guiding me how to use them and here we go again....

sometimes I feel like I just can't get things right, can't do enough, can't be enough. I know I have blogged in some form about this so sorry for any repetetion (repetition can be so annoying I know). I've got a list of to do's that don't even fit fully on a single page of notebook paper, it's spilling over onto my dry erase board. Apparently I'm not great with priorities either, what order to do the impossible list in. I have my daily to do's like dishes, dinner, feeding kids, cleaning up from cleaning kids, diapers, feeding self, etc. But if I let myself go there and really think of all I need to do and won't get done, then I will too easily become depressed about what I would like to be able to do, but will never even touch, so instead I made a plan. :) yes I do love a plan!

388. plans (especially when you follow through and they go smoothly)

I made a new to do list for each week (monday-friday) and each day I do certain things-they are my only requirements for the day and then I can do something I would like to do as well as other things I should do, here is my weekly plan:

wash dishes, pick up living room (kids do most of it), clean and organize kitchen table, set up coffee, make the hub's lunch, teach my kiddos (homeschool)

vacuum all carpets
sweep/mop kitchen

vacuum living room
wash all bedding
cut coupons (if not done on monday)

vacuum living room
shop at Sprouts (bascially produce and its the double ad day =best deals)
park day with homeschool group

vacuum living room
sweep/mop (if needed)

vacuum all carpets
clean bathrooms

I feel so much better only having a few set things to do each day, of course I miss things and I'm not perfect, but instead of feeling like I have to tackle the world each day/week now I feel like I'm just taking on a piece each day and it's much more bearable.

I'm very very blessed and thankful for hands and feet that work and that I am able to JOYFULLY take care of our home and kids while my amazing hubby goes off to work and provides for us! I am also very blessed that I am able to spend time with our amazing Lord each morning through prayer and reading His word, His precious truth that enables me to learn and grow closer to Him each day!

I'm not going to ever be the mom I want to be, most people probably would say that I stress too easily with our kids and that I should relax, but by golly I am doing my best and I am thankful that God gives me the grace I need each day to do it all, His grace is perfectly sufficient for each and every moment so I can rest in that and find peace! My hubby is concerned about adopting (not becuase of money, or how small our home is, or what kind of baggage the children could have), but because he worries that our biological kids can be hard at times and drive me crazy so how would I handle adding 1 or 2 more to the mix. The answer is that I can't handle it, but I'M not suppossed to handle it, I just have to trust and have faith that God's grace will remain sufficient in each and every moment and hopefully the end result will be a family that strives to follow Christ and share His good news with others. We will have food in our bellies (mostly healthy), a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and love in our hearts. God will provide whatever it is we need and hopefully and prayerfully we will be able to answer the call to adoption in a way that glorifies God and brings Him glory. It will undoubtidly be messy and I will make tons of mistakes, but in the end all that matters is that we loved and we said yes when God asked if we had faith enough to trust Him....