Tuesday, April 24, 2012


wow I do not like the new blogger posting part, just like the new facebook timeline, but anyway

Lately I have been struggling with judgement. yikes I know. I have been a busybody and I am in some ways ashamed to admit it, but i cant deny its truth and i am convicted so here i am repenting. I have been worrying about what other people are doing or not doing instead of just making sure I am doing what i should be doing. If I were making sure I was doing what I was doing I would never have been judging. For example there is a woman who coupons at my walgreens and she is a hoarder. I need to focus on me doing what is right and taking fair amounts and donating a lot of what I get and not worry about what she is doing. I teach this to our kids, worry about yourself make sure you are doign what you should be doing and yet I have failed to listen to my own lesson.
The good news though: my sin was nailed to the cross and I don't have to feel bad over the past sins I made because Jesus already bled for those sins and forgave me for them! I am so very thankful for my precious saviour and I am being proactive in getting out of my own way so that He can lead me and help me walk in His spirit so I don't continue to make the same mistake. The way I do this: read my Bible, focus on things above and not on the things of this world. I make a better effort to love thy neighbor and put others before myself. I can't do this on my own, but Jesus can help me to do this if I let Him. I know I will struggle with sin my whole life, but I don't have to struggle alone and I thank God for that!
I was very encouraged when i read Colossians 3 this mornign and I encourage you to all read it as well. here is a bit of scripture from it, verses 12-17:

"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. but above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body and be thankful.. let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

I was also encouraged by the last 2 sermons at church (hence my last blog) and would encourage you to listen to it, even just play it in the background while you check your email or facebook or fold clothes, it will be worth your while. here is a link  and it is the one titled gospel obedience part 2 (though again both are great and i recommend both)


Tuesday, April 17, 2012


362. waking up early to spend time with God, today that looks different-instead of reading God's word I am speaking on God's word....

On Sunay at church pastor Tyler (pretty cool dude by the way) taught on Gospel obedience. We discussed the point pastor matt made on Easter about how religion says I obey therefore am accepted, but Gospel says I am accepted therefore I obey! I love that! He also discussed paychecks in a way that made complete sense to me and I want to share so others may understand as well...

we get frustrated sometimes because we don't think we get what we deserve, we work hard, we do right, we get nothing, no glory, no recognition (I'm sure mom's and wives can relate), sometimes in fact people who don't work as hard or do as much as us get the reward we feel we have earned. I will admit I never thought of myself this way, but pastor tyler hit the nail on the head in some ways with this. It also explains some of my lack of joy. I am looking at life as though I work hard and earn what I get. When we get paid our normal weekly or bi-weekly paycheck do we get excited and find joy in it? no usually I mean maybe a little-but its not real joy-its more like oh good now i can get_________ and pick up some groceries as well..... in fact sometimes we probably get frustrated with how little we preceive we are getting with our paycheck.

Ready to have your mind blown? We have worked hard and definitely earned something---death and hell-----yep hell that is what we have earned and deserve, but God send His son Jesus to use His paycheck to pay the debt we couldn't pay so that we don't get what we earned. Jesus died for our sins and atoned for them and because of Him we can choose to accept a free gift-the gift of salvation-eternity in heaven with our good and kind heavenly Father. Most Christians get excited about this right? Now picture this-Jesus paid our debt so we owe nothing and we don't get what we deserve (this is grace to the maximum) so whatabout those paychecks we don't find joy in? what about the lack of recognition for the hard work we do? what about all that stuff we feel robbed of? what about that person who gets more than we do even though they work half as hard?....

If you remember and beleive the gospel fully than you realize that we have earne nothing but hell and yet Jesus gave us a gift and all else other than HELL and DEATH are GIFTS--all else are GIFTS! Not just the stuff we think we find joy in or in fact do find joy in, but all of it--yes that includes trials, suffering, the tough stuff-what is worse than hell? nothing! I'm getting real with ya'll right now because I want to celebrate together in heaven as well as right here right now. Our paycheck shouldhave been hell, but instead it's life, its a love that we can't fully comprehend, its a savior who cares so much He would suffer in our stead to save His children. He was fully God but because fully man as well and walke this earth livinga completely perfect life and suffered greatly for just being HIm, then He was brutally beaten and tortured, hung on a Cross and died. He expereienced death fully and 3 days later He rose victoriously from the grave-that is good news for all who accept and believe that there is a love that great that sets us free and if we believe it, He will dwell in our hearts and help us to remember the gospel. We will see that what we get is a gift because we have no debt to pay. God is blessing us with gifts all the time and we can choose to see them that way and worship Him for it and find joy, or we can forgot the Cross and think we don't get enough of what we deserve. I don't want religion, I don't want a set of rules I try to follow and fail continually. I want my life and joy to reflect my rememberance of the gospel and count all things as joy since I do not get what I have earned (to go to hell) because my amazing Jesus, my savior died for me! Thank you Jesus for reminding me of what You did for me and how much I am blessed in spite of my sinful heart! Thank you for being good when there is nothing good in me, for being joy, for paying my debt and giving me so many many gifts-the greatest gift I have ever received is You, thank you!
363. the Cross
364. sermons that remind me of what I have been saved from
365. being reminded that when I don't get the credit I feel I have deserved that it doesn't matter-my credit come from Jesus and any credit I do get is mercy, a gift from God!
366. my aunt lora and her family! for inspiring me and edifying me
367. my computer, table, chair, internet, home, AC, lovely morning breeze, my body, my health, my family, friends, fingers....everything, every single thing about my life and the lives of those I love is a gift I don't deserve.........

Monday, April 2, 2012

gifty gifts and missing you

354. time can be a gift, it can be slow and painful, but I'm looking at it today as a gift (easier to do when I know my man will be home tonight with a more normal routine)

Today I feel a litte uneasy for some reason. I am not quite sure what it is, except that I feel like there is so much to do and normally I just say okay lets start doing stuff and I dig in, but today is not like other days. I have definitely dug in and started, but the unease is still lingering. I went in T's room and played with him and K (pretend kitchen play) which of course turned into us searching through the 3 toy buckets in various rooms for all the kitchen stuff (a.k.a. cleaning up involved here)...played a bit then decided to put away some laundry and finally check my email. I have already worked out today and spent my wonderful time with my savior this morning, so what is it???? I thought it was that my focus was on too much of my to do's and not enough of my kids, but that didn't change it. T worked on school today, dishes done, k's high chair deep cleaned, table cleaned, deal lists printed, bed made, laundry going....

I read my email from my dear friend G, then read through her blog posts and in many ways I was encouraged and I was also brought to tears with her kind words for me, thank you my dear beautiful friend! I love and miss you so very much! Maybe that is just it, I am not a huge cryer (though that is changing as I age) and I really miss my friend as well as my family back home in Oregon. I looked at pictures from Christmas when we visited home for 8 days (not long enough for sure)....and I remembered that those are special people who make me smile and laugh and they make Oregon feel like home. I miss people I guess is what is going on. I miss my family--just being all together in the same place sipping coffee and watching tv and laughing and eating big meals together. I miss my amazing friend G, who would bring a smile to my face and heart every wednesday when i would get to see her and talk with her and be real with her. She always challenged me and edified me (loving this word lately) and her kids made me smile too!....G I miss you very much, you are a spiritual mother to me (even though you are not like a mother more of a sister) and I thank you for all that you taught and inspired me! I apprecaite the fact that you have a blog to help grow me, but it will never measure to spending time with you in person! You are a very special gift to me!

355. G's blog and friendship!
356. stepping out of my comfort zone-thanks M for inviting me to sing with you on Easter!
357. back at church this sunday and it was amazing as always!
358. milk and crackers (this time its generic club) thanks dad for sharing this snack with me and now I get to share it with my kiddos -they love it too, next its smoked oysters on saltines

359. health
360. family walks
361. looking at pictures of family!

*these are oregon pictures from 2010, but I'm feeling nostalgic and wanted to post my family and home anyway.....p.s. my hubby is an amazing rock skipper