Wednesday, March 27, 2013

still waiting

406. when frustration had really set in, encouragement birthed and restored my ability to keep waiting

407. quiet mornings with God, coffee, my dear friend's blog and emails with encouraging words, thank you G!

408. good peopel, they are still out there!

So lets get to it, I never expected to be so frustrated with waiting on a child to adopt. I thought to myself, I have 2 biological children, I am not yearning for a child to love, I have been blessed with 2 to love. Waiting won't be that bad....think again! It is hard to know you are a mom to a child that you don't yet know and that you don't know how they are doing! I trust God is taking care of them while we are unable to, but it doesn't mean its not hard to wait to show that child your love! I do want things to move faster. I want our homestudy to actaully be submitted, it still has not happened and we have been told several times "it will be done this friday" I'm thinking I don't know if I can honestly trust that phrase anymore in any sense. I have an automatic response of okay I will believe it when i see it in terms of those words now. Anyway you get the point, we are frustrated!

This Saturday I was at a vendor show with my good friend Lora and we had our jewelry table all set up and I had my painting up for people to put their thumb prints on and we were chatting with the photographer lady vendor next to us. A lady who loves lia sophia jewelry came up and said her jewelry lady no longer did it and she would love to have a party with us! Woo success we were excited. She learned of how my family is adoping and she was very excited to help us. I was happy we had a party and met a lovely person who seemed to have a lovely heart!

Later Lora was away from our booth and I was chatting again with the photographer lady (me talking to people, crazy right :) when this woman who booked a party with us came up to me and told me: "I wish I could do more to help, but I really do want to help with your adoption so here take this" as she handed me a wad of cash. I struggled not to cry and I stammered out words of thanks and I don't know what to say and you are just so sweet! I hugged her and sat down astounded. I later counted she had given me $70 and I really felt Jesus in that moment. Not only was the photographer lady watching and I don't know that she was a believer, and she seemed to be touched, but I was shown that even though we are waiting and frustrated, God is with us and for us. Even though the caseworkers are not moving right now and getting things done for us, God is always working and He is moving and making things happen. He provided funds for our adoption by the act of a simple servants loving heart! I am honestly so thankful and blessed to have met this woman and for the Lord using her as a tool to touch my heart and restore it a bit in my frustration!

As if that wasn't enough this lady emailed us to set up a date for the party and in her email she said that she really felt like God was calling her to help Amber and her family with their adotion so she wanted to do whatever she could to help out! wow!

As if that wasn't enough, Sunday we went to church and we ran into someone we have not really hung out with, but we always say hello and exchange pleasantries and Nick has rode bikes once with her husband. They are sweet people we enjoy talking to basically. She told me she needed to talk to me. Oky great I thought she was trying to set up a time for us to get together and let our kids play as we have mentioned doing that before, awesome! She told me that she wanted to help us with our adoption, but she doesn't wear jewelry because it doesn' stay on her with 3 little boys at home. I had sent out invites for our adoption fundraiser on April 6th so she was referring to that. She said that if it would help us more to buy jewelry she could do that or if it would help more she could just give us money for our adoption. They do what we have done the last couple years in that you take a percentage of your tax return and use it to bless others, to show others Christ, to go towards the kingdom in some manner. She said her and her husband had discussed what they would do with their percentage and that our names had come up and as much as they would love to adopt themselves, it was not something they could do right now. She said that they want to do their part to care for the orphan as we are all called to do in some way and so she wanted to give us a check for our adoption. I was floored! How lovely are their hearts that they would desire to honor God with what they were given and to care for the orphan and that they would bless our family in their willingness to serve the Lord!

I spent most of worship with my eyes and mouth closed and tears just streaming down my cheeks pouring onto my shirt. I was so incredibly touched by God in this moment because not only did He show us that He was working in our waiting one time, but He did it again the very next day--as if He knew I would be quick to get frustrated again and He really wantd to pour on His blessing! So though we don't have any news yet of our child, we are still waiting.....we are encouraged by others hearts for the orphan and by Christ's love for us to reveal what He is doing right now to us, and He doesn't have to do that, He could have kept silent and had money come at the exact moment it was needed, but because He loves us, He wanted to bless us and encourage us right when we needed it most! We serve an amazing Lord and I am so greatful right now for His heart to care for the orphan and for His love for His children and for the people He used to show me Him!

If you are currently in the place I was, take hear and know that even if man does not appear to be working for you, Jesus is always working for you and He is moving!