393. skyping with family on Christmas morning
394. cold weather in Texas finally
395. emails from Gretchen
396. celebrating holidays with friends when you can't be with family
397. Nick finally having time off and getting to have him pretty much all to ourselves!!!
Those are the current gifts I am thinking on, but here is the adoption update for those who don't know:
We had a lot of back and forth and misunderstanding over the price as well as who would do our homestudy and finally after the uncertainty of it being $700 or $1000 we have been given our answer that the homestudy will cost $700. We are blessed that I am a saver when it comes to our monthy allowance and birthday money because I have that amount currently (God has provided and we are so very thankful--see this is why it pays to save--literally) I will pay for the study and then when we get our tax return I will get my spending money back and will be buying a .38 special revolver called the "body guard" which I am also very excited about :)
So we have our homestudy scheduled and the money is already in place to pay for it I feel like it is the 2nd big thing to check off the list in this whole thing. (1st one being the paperwork being turned in). Yes I am a list maker!
Emotions: as soon as the date was set for the study I freaked out. It was my first real freak out in adopting. I admittedly started to get think "can we really do this? Am I really capable of teaching and training another child-especially one that is likely going to have other issues aside from the normal kid issues of energy and craziness?" Then i remember that God called us to it, it won't be easy, but with Him it will be possible! I am going to fail our 3rd child just as much as I will fail our 1st 2 children and I am covered by God's grace in this and He will walk with me through it. Jesus has provided exactly the grace, people, money, patience, calm, words, etc. that I need to walk in faith through this adoption process and once we are finally able to bring our child home, He will be with us through that too. I am excited and thankful for the amzing God I serve and amazing husband He gave me to walk through this with! My friend G said "may you be a blessing to someone in 2013" I liked the way she put it and I liked that I can say we are going to be a tool God will use to bless someone in 2013, our 3rd child that will get a forever home and parents that love them. We are not perfect parents, some days I don't even feel like a good parent, but God is the perfect Father and He knows exactly what He is doing and so we will be the exact parents this child needs and this child will be the exact child we need as parents!
Tanner really wants a boy, Nick really wants a girl, I honestly don't care so long as we pray and discern the child that God intends for us (or children). It's weird to have no burning desire for more children, but to have a burning desire to bring home our 3rd child because they are ours and belong with us! I hate to think of not being able to protect them or provide for them while we are apart, but then that is where faith comes in and I have to trust that as we pray for our child's safety and wellbeing and health and healing that God is indeed providing all that our child needs. I'm praying for a super natural and tangible presence in our child's life that is felt and evident to our child and the people caring currently for our child. That God's hedge of protection would be surrounding our child and that their precious little hearts would begin to heal and prepare them for becomming part of our family. There is much faith in adopting, trusting God to care for your child while you can't, trusting God to provide the funds, trusting God to reveal the child He intends for you to you clearly, trusting the sleeping situation and car seat situation, the babysitting situation when required, not having family nearby as support so trusting God to provide the friends to help out like family would, and then just waiting for His time which is perfect.
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