Christ's love emulated truly...

174. True believers loving as Christ does

So again today I was brought to tears. Our community group gave me a card with money in it for my trip to get my sister. What kindness and generocity, goodness, selflessness, true love, I can't even fully describe how I feel right now with what they have given! I have heard sermons preached on how the hardest thing to change in a Christian is their wallet. Money is a tough thing, we need it to survive, to pay the bills, buy food, etc. and it's not always easy to make and I guess we feel we work hard for it so its hard to give away, but how great it is to give. And how humbling it is to recieve the gift of other people's hard earnings! I feel so amazingly blessed to have our community group in our lives, what a great group of friends we have! My heart is overwhelmed with love! Thank you Jesus for the precious gift of community. I wish I had a picture to insert of our group, but sadly I don't....
Imagine a group of awesome people with big smiles and awesome hand gestures and craziness and love pouring out of their hearts.....

175. skype, hands free face to face free chat with hubby :) yay
176. free stuff
177. ability to give free stuff to others in need such as the food pantry and pregnancy center.

I wish that I could really explain how completely and utterly blessed I feel right now. I am so happy to have my sister coming and getting out of a not great relationship and to know that she will see and feel and know Christ's love here fully! God is so good, He is behind this whole ordeal and to God alone be the glory! He has worked everything out in this and made it good and I am so thankful for His love and provision.

A few other examples of God's goodness and provision:
love:

our precious kids

sun:

water:

trees=o2

friends and playtime

family:

art: in this case dry erase markers in the bath tub



grace

162. Grace, I am so thankful for grace! grace from Jesus and grace from my kids and husband!
I fail so much with grace, with my mouth, my words are harsh and uncalled for at times and my poor family suffers for it, yet a 4 year old has the capacity to show me grace through tear stained cheeks! It really shows me how amazing the free gift of grace is! I am so impressed that I can yell at my son and be so angry and make him cry and then when i calm down apologize and he smiles at me and says "it's okay mommy I forgive you, I know its hard to be nice sometimes" yeah wow right! What a true blessing my kids are! I feel like such a bad mom in those moments, and he loves me anyway. Think of how much more Jesus loves us!

In church today we ended with a thought about how there is nothing that we can do to make God love us less, and likewise there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more, how comforting is that--not a crutch by any means, but good reminder that works don't work and the only thing we can do is try our best, when an opportunity presents itself to show grace and love, take it, seize it and show Christ's love. Unlike I did...Jesus forgive me for having a pretty sucky parent moment.

163. worshipping God with singing, tears, smiles and prayers all at once---even when its not Jimmy leading :)
164. becomming a more emotional person, unable to control the tears from flowing in a moment that calls for shedding a few
165. new friends
166. my sister's phone calls that tell me she is strong!
167. blogs about how to make the best iced coffee--a must in this hot hot state! can't wait to get the supplies and have iced coffee in the morning!
168. fat pants feeling slightly loser woo hoo
169. ice
170. my walgreens friends

Today after church we went to walgreens to get the deals of the week and we were excited to see our friend Amy, she had special stickers jsut for Tanner, she is so sweet! Tanner held her hand and walked a bit and said that he loves her, how stinkin sweet is he!

171. feeding ducks, i love to watch kids doing it as much as I love to watch the ducks try to get the bread, i always try to get my pieces to the kids, motherly instinct I guess (ironic considering my horrible actions this afternoon)

Kenni threw up this afternoon and I have no idea why, she may have choked on something I am not sure I was getting all the hair off the vacuum brushes and heard her start throwing up, anyway T was so sweet and concerned for her, until she looked like she was going to throw up on him and instead got me. poor baby!

172. watching my kiddos play

silly boys
173. boys with jeans and no shirt!

Oregon trip

I have been slacking on writing blogs so I wanted to go ahead and share our Oregon trip. We were there in the middle of July and were able to be there for Dad's 50th birthday bash, it was so nice to see everyone. The weather was lovely that day! It rained a bit while we were there which was unfortunate (in all my life living there it has never rained in July-and it prevented us from doing some of the activities we had planned). However, it was so beautiful and so nice to enjoy a lttle rain while Texas so desperately needed it!
We were camping and on the morning of our 2nd day it started to rain.
156. motorhomes

We ended up hanging out for a while in Grandma and Grandpa's motohome, which was so nice for Kennadi not to be in the rain. The men were outside all bundled up around the fire having man talk while the women and children read and played in the motorhome.
I went walking with K and Granpa S and his wife Darlice showed up just in time for us to decide to pack up, with thunder storm warnings I didn't think it would be much fun with a baby at night so sadly there was no playing in the river or watching the kids play on the sandy beach part (this year there was no sandy beach part because the water was so high)

157. Boys with dogs










158. Man time =chips and sticks


159. Baby enjoying licorice








160. See what I mean, seriously Oregon is beautiful, what a gift to experience it, smell it, feel the cool morning around a campfire sipping delicious coffee made in a perculator yummmy....

161. Watching 4 generations of family members together

Nina loves!

Never seen a dog love water so much, our dog hates it, but not Mr. Gusterson (Gus) He loved being in the water and chasing whatever you would throw in for him, he actually retrieves sticks and then Tanner was throwing rocks and he ended up scooping one up with his paw and retrieving that as well, it was so fun to watch him!

(Un)answered prayers

"Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers, remember when you're talking, to the man upstairs, that just because He may not answer doesn't mean He don't care, some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers...."~Garth Brooks--awesome country singer p.s.

Well this is not one of those time, fooled ya right. Today is a day to rejoice in a very dear to my heart answered prayer! My sister has been in a string of bad relationships for the past 6 years of her life and she is 24 mind you....and in 8 days I am flying to get her and drive her back to our home in Texas to live with us! Praise Jesus!!!!! The closer it gets, the more real it becomes! I can't wait to wrap my arms around her in a bear hug!

Now I am not a big cryer or very emotional in many ways, but I can tell you that the dam is about to break and the waters are going to pour down over the rocky wall the the shallow, half dried up, pool below. When I let myself think of what a special gift my Texas friends are!
152. My texas friends

They are what true, genuwine, good hearted Christians ought to be like! They are so supportive and loving, a true mirror of Christ's love! Thank you so very much for your kindness and goodness and I thank God for placing you all in my life!

A special thanks goes to my great friend G! You melt my heart with your kindness towards my sister! You pray for her daily, and make sure to do so with a post it note you move each day, I honestly don't believe I was even praying every day for her, sad I know. You are showing her Christ's love and God has used you as a tool in this whole thing and I am so so greatful. My other friends have been amazing too, but your understanding and prayers have really done it in for me and for her! I can't even now contain the tears because I am so overwhlemed with feeling Christ's love-through Him and through you, Thank you so very much G from the bottom of my heart!
153. G!!!!!

154. oregon visits, surprise sister visits

155.papa and gus enjoying camping

137. blogs blogs blogs

I love to read my friend G's blog, it is always interesting, often inspiring, and at times funny==nothing funnier than real life my dad always says, so true.

Crazy week for me well 10 days so far since the hubs has been training. I have been tempted and failed many times, still looking for a win. My first ministry is to God, then my family. Finally caught up with my Bible plan and enjoying the time in the morning for that, but lacking in the prayer department still. My kiddos challenge me daily in the patience ring (which I have never claimed to have an ounce of) and that is my biggest failure. I get angry, irritated, snap, yell....instead of using the opportunity to find a gift or praise God for my kids, I focus on me and my own struggles to do a simple task without interuption or chaos. so many opportunities to show grace and love and patience (don't like that p word) and each time I fail. The good news is that I can fail a thousand times and God's mercy will remain and only He can change my reaction and fix me so long as I seek and ask Him to do so...

I have had 2 self destructive nights since my hubs has been gone, one night I ate a crunch bar (not a mini one either), and shared 2 bags of popcorn and 2 sodas with T--its been a long time since i have had soda and apparently 1 just didn't do it). Then last night after a very stressful day with my kids I got them to bed and sat down with a glass of wine and decided that it just sounded too good to resist and ate a bunch of cheese and crackers with it and some summer sausage--

wow what a downer I am, whats wrong with me? why am i focusing on the negative so much? oh there is the answer: I am focusing on myself too much....onto the new

Currently K is napping, I had a quick cat nap, and T is in his room quietly playing (while he is suppossed to be napping-I dont mind though as long as he is giving me a little quiet time). I just finished my coffee and read my friends blog-made me really want a great dane by the way, it will be awesomewhen we can get one ourselves! Peace in my house, comfort in my soul, warm coffee in my belly and a sweet text from my hubby while he is out in the crazy heat doing his crazy job missing his family and worrying about my sanity, I am so blessed to have him.

138. text messages
139. girls nights-very excitecd for my little date with M tonight while friends watch my kiddos

Little gifts are everywhere. My son just got up and said "good morning sunshine" and gave me a big hug and said he loved me, what else is there, but love and happiness! and health, wow I am so blessed to claim all of these. I may not always be happy, but there is no reason not to be, as happiness in my opinion is a state of mind I have to choose to be happy and right now right here I am choosing happiness!

140. double newspapers for only .89 cents more
141. friends who see you struggle and reach out
142. play dates
143. parents who are so kind and generous
144. vacation
145. aniticipating daddy coming home
146. 4 year old singing "shine your light in let the whole world see, singing for the glory of the risen king" I love when he sings, it could be one of my most favorite sounds.
147. both my kids dancing to christian music and smiles on their face as their mommy gets down too :)
148. Romans in the Bible, I am enjoying it greatly!
149. Pastor stories that get you to laugh and other ones that pierce your heart
150. song we sang in church (some lyrics to follow) not sure of the name, but so fitting right now.

"So here's my broken heart Lord do what you please, I'm laying down my life, my hopes, my dreams. Cause you laid down your life in love for me so I surrender all to you my king"
151. shouting out a song with other believers as a cry from your heart, hands high, heart abandoned, open and seeking our glorious Lord Jesus!

Time to get ready for my girl date and say a little prayer of thanks for God changing my perspective through writing this blog!

ponderings

122. camping with awesome people
123. awesome people who help me out with all that goes with camping and kids while hubby is away training
124. swimming in an awesome swim hole, again with awesome people, you all know who you are
125. coming home to A/C
126. watching son and daughter play in little river, T trying to skip rocks and pretend swim while K chews on rocks and crawls around fearlessly
127. brief phone calls from hubby while he is training
128. hubby missing me
129. sweet wine
130. advice from amazng moms

Had an amazing time camping with 2 other families-wish the hubs could've come, but duty calls as they say...Friday night was not great, K was up a lot because she was so hot, but saturday was awesome swimming and hiking a bit, hanging out with all the kids!

131. Have to agree with G, teenagers are pretty cool!!!
132. good talks with good boys
133. my ergo baby carrier--allowing me to tote my girl all over
134. diving into cool water on a hot day
135. knowing other families who enjoy rugged camping!

Back up a bit, forgot to mention before camping, before the hubs left, dog got sprayed with skunk, had to wash him in tomato soup as I had no tomato juice (not a fan of bloody mary's) and it only partially worked-entertaining to watch dog covered in red soup lick the bottom of the shower as I scooped concentrated soup from the can. P.S. I hate the smell of skunk spray--its like the combo of dead skunk mixed with burnt rubber...it took us a while to realize the smell was coming from our dog and not some electric thing in our house--poor hubby went crazy a little trying to diagnose....

Trying to use the time while hubs is gone to do things like: read, clean, complete unfinished artsy projects, eat cheaper, etc.....now time to focus on the kiddos a bit more...tomorrow its school time and whatever else Tanner wants to do, along witha a trip to the library I belive to pick out new books and hopefully find the first mouse and the motocycle book--so we can start at the beginning and have it all make sense as to why ralph wanted to runaway.....I really need to upload pictures on my computer so i can put new ones on here too.....

136. God knows me and only gives me what I can handle--sometimes it has felt as though He must have forgot what my limit was, but no matter what He gets me thru!
137. Friends who love me as I am and don't want to change me in all my craziness and paradoxical-ness...accepting me for who I am.

A recent tiff with an old friend reiterated this little fact "love me, or leave me, but don't try to change me" I am a peculiar type of chic and dont make a whole lot of sense. I am up for digging in and getting dirty, but I hate creepy crawley critterey slithery things. I can be so girly and then so not. I don't like to cry and try to fight it as much as possibly I make awkward jokes when emotions are high and try to fix things that can't be fixed. Oh there is so much more, but its late and this bag of crazy is going to bed. Goodnight and God bless!

Early in the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have, all this world just give me Jesus!
It has been far too long for a blog post and I figured what better time than the present while I am up early before my kiddos.

This Saturday I did a bike ride for charity with my amazing hubby, and 2 of our friends. We did 35 miles, it was the longest I have ever gone and the first 17 miles may have kicked my butt and made me think I hated it, but the last half was amazing! It was so awesome to be out getting an awesome workout, supporting a charity, talking with M, and taking in God's beauty all around us!
109. Bike rides
110. Riding down a red brick road at the end with M and whooping and hollaring together
111. Being immersed in God's beauty
112. The amazing and distinct smell of horses, not to mention their beauty
113. Husband being proud of me, waiting at the finish line for me and greeting me with smile and big hug and kiss.
114. Amazing friends like G praying for us during our ride, very sweet thank you so much!

Last night we went to our missional community group for a BBQ, the men fixed the host's fence and the women made goody bags to hand out to those in need. It was awesome! Great salad
114. G's greek salad, yummy I could eat it all day long!

It was nice to chat and just hang around each other. I enjoyed talking with the teenagers--we all have great kids if I might add---watching my 4 year old son learn to swing high by himself thanks to sweet little Biz helping teach him!

115. Kind boys who stop to teach the young ones, who are patient and let them catch the football and throw it, that show grace to a boy with enough energy for 2 little boys

116. Being in community and continuing to grow together.
117. G encuraging home schooling and giving me ideas on how to get started with my son!
118. Singing with M
119. Son dancing with abandon and beinga rocket star as he calls it :)
120. Boys dressed as cowboys and taking cowboy names like Dusty :)

121. streams and creeks